Matthew 11:28-30

Today I had a anxiety attack in Relief Society and I had to leave early. I have not had this happen for some time. I used to get these attacks regularly when in social situations. Tonight as I lay in bed I was reflecting on this incident and remembering the Sunday school lesson about Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, "Come unto me all ye that are .....heavy laden and I will give you rest." I know that when I remember to rely on the Lord when I really ask him to take away my burdens and make them light he helps me. In this case he has helped me to gain some perspective. I need to be more gentle with myself and not take on so much responsibility for things I have no control over. That is hard for me. I like to be in control. The truth though is that control is a myth. God is the one in control, he gives us the ability to make choices and he lets us try our hand at control, but really our joy comes when we let go of that control and put our lives in His hands. I am not good at that. I have to be constantly reminded to have faith enough to let go. The other part of that scripture is; "take my yoke upon you" I picture oxen pulling a wagon like in the pioneer days. The yoke around the oxen is the kind of yoke Jesus is referring to here. I realized that when we try to carry those burdens ourselves we are like one ox trying to pull the wagon by ourselves. When we take the yoke with Christ we have His help to pull that same wagon. Our burden becomes light that we can then pull the load. I have been heavy laden for many months now with burdens about finances, work, church callings, and family challenges. I am weary and have need of help. I have from time to time during these months relied on Heavenly Father to ease those burdens and He has done so. I just forget to do this on a daily basis and then I let things pile up and I get tired and become vulnerable to the buffetings of Satan. I know Satan is real and is working really hard on me right now, why now I don't know, maybe just because I am vulnerable and he wants me to fall. I do know this he will not win! One of my good and bad traits is stubbornness. I am just stubborn enough to try again when I get knocked down. So here goes another day and I pray it will be a great one!