Losing Faith

Do you ever have those days when you feel like you are drowning? Maybe you owe money to someone that you cannot pay, you have gotten in over your head. Maybe you are worried about a family member or a friend. Maybe your kids are just being holy terrors that day and you wish you could just escape being a parent. I think we all have some kind of trials in our lives that test us to our limits. Yesterday was such a day for me. In reflecting on what made me break down I think it is because for a little while I lost faith. I didn't remember that I have a loving Heavenly Father who has been taking care of me and who has sustained me in similar trials. I went strait to panic. I was distraught off a on all day. Thankfully I have a good friend who helped me get things back into perspective. I also was listening to Christian radio and there was a program that made me realize that I was not trusting in the Lord as I have in the past and that is why I had lost peace. I was also very tired my sleep has been interupted quite a lot lately and that is a major contributor. I am thankful that by the end of the day I was back on track, feeling good about my life and the world around me. I know that there is nothing that my Heavenly Father cannot handle and when I trust in him to sustain and guide me I can have peace even with the wolf knocking at my door. A few years ago I would have been thrown into a deep depression. I would have taken to my bed for weeks. I was raised with the teachings of Jesus, but I have not understood how to use them in my life until recently. I know what stood in my way of accepting His love, it was a feeling of unworthiness. It has taken me this long to realize that none of us is worthy of his love, but he loves us anyway. I am still not worthy of His love, but now I can accept that I am not worthy and put my trust in Him to lead me. Letting go of trying to control everything is so freeing. I realize that there is only one thing I can control, that is me and my choices. I also realize that there are no trials in this life that I am not able to handle, as long as I take my Heavenly Fathers hand and let him lead me along. Do I forget that sometimes? Yes! Will I have another melt down sometime, Yes I will. Why? Because I am an imperfect human and that is why I need my Savior.