Keeping up with the Jones'

We have all heard the phrase, "Keeping up with the Jones'". We grow up with the belief we should pursue the "American Dream" Everyone should become a home owner! I have lived most of my Adult life as a renter. A few years ago my husband and I decided to purchase a home. I was really excited. We had a few dollars for a down payment, we got approved for the loan and we found this really great house in our price range. I always thought I wanted a yard, I wanted a place for my grand kids to come and play, and a garden. My husband always wanted a dog. Not long after we moved in we got a 1/2lab 1/2 weimeriner dog. He was so cute. It took about 5 months for this tiny little puppy to grow into a huge animal. The problem is he was still a puppy he needed so much attention. He was too big for his dog house and so I blocked off the stairs and made a place for him in the entryway. I came home to a ripped up floor. He quickly destroyed our house. I said he is going outside. So we put up a fence and put a shelter out there for him. I tried to take him on walks and train him but he was too much for me. My husband (who's dog he was supposed to be) has a bad leg and there was no way that he could handle this dog. Eventually we found the dog a good home in the country. I tried to grow a garden. I found out that I have a black thumb. I also realized that I hate yard work. I seem to be the only one who is able or willing to do the work necessary to keep up with this house. Just before Christmas our water heater went out and we had to shell out the money for a new water heater. The joys of owning your own home are not such joys. We are in over our heads and we do not have the financial means to keep up with this home. So 5 short years later we are selling this house. We are glad to do it. We will most likely loose money on this adventure and so for me the "American dream" has not been a great thing. I have learned something from this experience that is valuable and so this time has not been wasted. I have learned that it is not important what others tell you is important. I am an individual. My husband and I are not cardboard cutouts of the "perfect" family. We have our own likes and dislikes and our own talents and abilities. If we decide not to own a home that is up to us and it has nothing to do with success or failure. I always felt like a failure in my life because I didn't have that "normal" life. My life has been it's own journey and I should be able to be happy with that journey. By the same token to judge someone by the place they live or the work that they do is crazy. Today I heard Dave Ramsey say that really wealthy people don't care what other people think. They don't have to have the fancy cars or the big houses. They can if they want but most of them live below their means. I am learning something about living within your means and being happy and satisfied with what you have. My husband and I are very close to being out of debt. This did not happen because we won the lottery. We have been slowliy but consistantly making payment and slowly but surely one by one we have seen our debts paid off. I will be really excited when we have no more loans to pay off and no more obligation to anything but our living expences. I am happy to live in a rental, if the water heater breaks it is the landlords problem. I don't need a garden, I just kill the plants anyway. What I need is a warm place where my family can gather. Where we can have a meal and a good conversation. I need a reliable but not fancy car, preferably with no car payment. I have everything else, a great husband, a wonderful family, good friends, and God. What more can a girl ask for?

Police protection

What is your oppinion on calling the police for a neighbor who plays his music too loud? Today I was with a friend and we were enjoying the evening outside on her porch. Her son was playing in the front yard and we were having a good conversation. Then we started to get serenaded by some loud music with profane lyrics. I commented to my friend about the free concert. She said ya isn't it great? Then we determined approximately where it was coming from and called the police to complain. The police came out about 15 minutes later, talked to the neighbors and then came over to talk to us. The police offecer seemed to be annoyed that he had to come out for that call. I was also concerned that he came over to talk to us as soon as he got done talking to the neighbors down the street. Don't you think that those kind of calls should be annonymous? It is not very annonymous when the police officer stops his police car in front of your house and gets out to talk to you. We can hope that the people who where disturbing the peace are not crazy and take this all in stride. But what if they are crazy, or just drunk enough to want to get into a fight. Maybe it would be better if they did not have a clue who made the call. I hope and pray, for my friends sake that her neighbors are nice people who just had a desire to play their music too loud, and are sane and sober enough to just comply without feeling the need to retaliate. They did turn down the music and the street seemed to be peaceful enough when I left her. But, what do you think? Did she have the right to call the police? Do our police have the duty to protect us? Maybe I'm paranoid or have watched too many spy movies but I was really surprise at this police officers response to this call.

The Journey

So I'm driving home and just thinking about getting there. Along the way I have to pass some road construction. The road narrows from one lane to two. I can see that I am not going to get past the cars next to me before I have to pull over so I just pull over. Just as I pull over the guy in front of me stops. Immediately my brain goes off... I say to myself,you idiot, what is the matter with people, doesn't anyone know how to drive. Well that was my initial reation, then I calmed down and realized that the car in front of him was turning right and he was just doing what he needed to do. It was then that I realized that I was so focused on getting from point A to point B that I was forgetting to enjoy the journey. I forgot that I was on that journey with many other people who are just trying to get from point A to point B. Sometimes I think that is how our lives are. We are so busy trying to get to the next place we say to ourselves; when I get that promotion, when I graduate from college, when I lose 10 pounds, when I...you fill in the blank. We are so busy trying to get to the next place, point B that we forget to enjoy today. Life is a journey not a destination. Remember to enjoy each moment and savor the times that bring you in contact with other human beings. They are on the same road you are and maybe they could use your smile, or a kind word. I know I could. So I want to make each moment count and try to remember to be kind, change that initial reaction to, Oh I wonder what is in front of that truck, I hope everything is alright; or just smile and wait patiently.

Looking Back

So I'm sitting on my couch feeling sick. I got some kind of stomach flu. I look out and there are pictures of my grandson Joseph and next to it a picture of my son Gene.(his dad) A few years ago when Gene was getting married I looked through all my pictures and couldn't find any baby pictures of him. I figured that his Dad must have them. I couldn't remember how we divided up pictures when we split up 21 years ago. Well, last month I went to help my sister clean out my dad's house; and I found a baby picture of Gene that I had sent to my dad when Gene was born. I brought it back to my house and put it next to a baby picure of Joseph. I was really shocked because I didn't think Joe looked anything like his Dad. Now that I see them side by side I see how much Joe does look like his dad. Well this got me thinking about how disconnected my life has been. I feel like my adult life has been a series of little one act plays. There is the one titled "Happily Ever After, I Wish", well to be honest this one seems to have several sequils; another play called "Who are you Who Who Who Who? I really wanna know!"; then there is the current play which has not been completed yet, what should I title it hmmm... "Ever learning and finally coming to a knowledge of the truth?"...that sounds good for now. Anyway putting all of the parts of myself together to make a whole person is a lifetime commitment. I'm just beginning to enjoy the person that I am. If you don't believe me look at my previous post.

Blessings

A familiar Hymn relates this message; "When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed. When you are discouraged thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done." Some of my ramblings so far have been about what is missing in my life or in my environment. A friend recently reminded me that we have so much to be thankful for. I in particular have so many blessing in my life that they would take up too much space to name them all here. Just a few are; a wonderful marriage, peace and happiness, adult children who are on the path to happiness in their own lives,grandchildren, and so many more. One of my most treasured blessings is a testimony of Jesus Christ, and his atonement, and the knowledge that I can pray and receive answers to life's most challenging questions. I can even receive answers for life's simple questions. This understanding and the use of this principle in my life is what allows me to have peace. I don't have peace because of a lack of trials, tribulations and obstacles in my life. I have peace because I choose to tap into the source of all peace, "the Prince of Peace" Jesus Christ. I am indeed blessed. Gratitude is a priciple of happiness that I am learning to employ also. I hope that if I loose sight of this that others will remind me like my friend did today. Thank you dear friend, which by the way is another of my many blessings, wonderful dear friends.

This Blog Thing

Ok here is the thing about a blog. You write your thoughts, they are rough it is not like an article that you write, read, edit rewrite, etc. Maybe they are not gramatically correct. Maybe they are not completely thought out. They are thoughts that are real and here and now. If you take them that way you won't be disappointed. I sometimes worry about offending people, but I don't really try to do that I just write what is my reality at the moment. Writing helps me to sort thing out. It gets the crazies out of me. I can think way too much and writing makes it much less worrisome. My thoughts don't rumble around in my head so much so I can get on with the important stuff. If you are a Harry Potter Fan you know about the sieve, that thing where Dumbledore puts his memories to unclutter his mind. I guess that is sort of what I am doing here. Don't read too much into them, just enjoy them or not. Someone out there might relate to what I am doing here. If you do great! Hope it helps to find a soul with a like mind. If you don't great! If we were all the same this would be a really boring world.

The Financial Part

Do you ever look at other peoples lives and wonder why everyone seems to have it all together and you are left behind? I wonder that all the time. I came from a good middle class home, my sisters (all 6 of them) seem to have husbands that are able to make a living for their families and they don't have to work. Well I should qualify that my younger sister is the bread winner in her home she is a School teacher and her husband is out of work for health reasons, so I feel for her; but the rest seem to have it easy. I have friends who are able to be stay at home mom's and their husbands bring in a good living. My oldest sister's husband is retired. They have two homes. They live in one home for six months and the other for six months. But they don't really live in them so much as you would think because they are traveling quite a bit. They just bought a new van too. I wonder how do some people seem to have the financial department of their life so in order and I am so behind? It seems that all of my adult life has been spent wondering if I will be able to pay all my bills. I am constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul. Sometimes are better than others and I do live a pretty good life but if I could only get this financial part figured out I think things would be wonderful! I am still young, as my Dad would put it I am in my 50th year. I don't think I am that old but my birth date seems to verify that I am. Lately I dream of buying an RV and becoming a fulltimer. That means living in it full time. My husband works seasonal so we could live in SD for the summer and AZ for the winter. That sounds pretty good if we could just get the financial part figured out.